Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login

Chapter 11: Fillydephila Showdown! Vs. ChaosColt & the Egg Stallion!

Where We Last Left on in the Last Chapter, Team Chaos & Team Sol Head to Fillydephila in order to find the next emerald. But when one of the Ponyfolk on Team Chaos Side, Displays an act of Violence towards his wife in public. Knux & AJ Stop the Abuser's tracks only to find out he's possessed by the Chaos Emerald He holds, Transforming him into n a Chaos Powered Colt of Destruction. Meanwhile on Team Sol's Side, The Gang gets One Step Closer to the Next Sol Emerald. That is Until Dr. Eggman, after been blasted off by Marine has comeback with a new Intention. The Egg Stallion. Now With 2 Teams Facing Against 2 Obstacles. Their Quest will get more challenged by the second. Will these 2 challenges get in the way of our heroes quest to find all the emeralds? Find out Right Now on the Next Chapter of Sonic & Rainbow Dash Adventure!

Battle: Team Chaos vs. ChaosColt

(music: Yikes-Bleach: Shattered Blade)

As The Chaos powered Colt Starts to Charge at Team Chaos at full force, The Group Diverse into different directions to avoid his Chaos Powered Hoof. Sonic & Rainbow Then Charges at him With Full Speed performing their combo move.

Sonic & Rainbow: RAINBOOM BOOST!

As Soon as the Attack was about to hit, The ChaosColt Blast them away with his Chaos Energy. The Force of Chaos Energy Backed Sonic & Dashie into a building.

Sonic: wow.

Rainbow Dash: That's Gonna Hurt in the morning.

The Chaos-Powered Colt Started to talk.

ChaosColt: I'm ChaosColt. The Most Powerful Colt in all of Equestria Thanks to this Mystical Jewel. I've gained on my way to Work. Soon This City will be under my Rule. & you Fools will not stand in my way!

Tails: we'll see about that! ARM CANNON!

Tails Shoots His Arm Cannon at The ChaosColt. But in an Instant the ChaosColt Shoved the attack aside & tossed it into a nearby Car & it exploded.

ChaosColt: Hmph, What kind of Move is that? Weak if you ask me.

Tails was Angry at his Comment & Shot at ChaosColt Multiple times. With Every Shot fired, ChaosColt shoved every attack Tails Fired with just Chaos Powered Hooves. Tails Was Shocked at this when ChaosColt counter every shot he fired. Soon Knuckles & AJ jumped
High & Came Falling down on ChaosColt preparing their Combo Move.



The Two Attacks Collided in impact causing an Semi Big Crater on the City. The Attack caused an explosion and Backed The 2 hard hitters on the ground.

Sonic: Knuckles!

Rainbow Dash: Applejack!

Battle: Team Sol Vs. The Egg Stallion

Meanwhile on Team Sol's Side, our Heroes are facing off with Eggman's Newest Intention, The Egg Station. They Battled to Mechanized Horse. Ditzy & Doctor Stay behind to avoid the danger.

Marine: Well, I have to say, you really outdone yourself mate!

Eggman: Why thank you, Miss. I couldn't have done it better myself!

Twilight: That Doesn't mean we'll let you get that Sol Emerald, Eggman!

Eggman: Ohh, We'll just See about that, Unicorn Girl!

The Egg Stallion Charged at the Group with Full force. Team Sol Dodged The attack. The Egg Stallion recovered & charged at the Group Again. Sliver stopped it with his telekinesis.

Sliver: It's no use! Take THIS!

Sliver then Blows The Stallion away, The Mechanized Horse Crashes into a Nearby Building, But got on his Hooves 3 seconds later.

Sliver: Damn it

With Team Chaos VS. ChaosColt

The Battle with ChaosColt was Getting Difficult by the second. Team Chaos Was able to get Some Damage on him Even So, Things weren't look too good for them.

ChaosColt: Mphm, How Pathethic. You Fools are all weak! I'll finish all of you here right now!

The ChaosColt Charges enough Energy to perform a Chaos Blast. Team Chaos' fate was gonna end like this. It wasn't long before Sonic came up with an idea.

Sonic: Listen Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash: What's up?

Sonic: I need you to flap your wings as fast as you can but stay in place

Rainbow Dash: What? What's That going to do?! If we stall any longer. We're gonna die!


Sonic curls into a ball and starts spinning in place

Rainbow Dash:..hmm... I don't know what Sonic's got up his sleeve. But I got to trust him on this one. We're running out of ideas for this battle. So this is our last resort!

Rainbow Dash starts flapping wings as fast as she can. Soon, Orbs of Energy start flying into both speedsters and Sonic stops spinning. The Next Thing that happened that Dashie started Glowing Blue.

Rainbow Dash: WHOA...What's this?

Sonic Also Started to Glow Blue

Sonic: You're about to find out. Prepare to go faster than you've ever gone before. NOW LETS DO THIS!

Rainbow Dash Smirks as She Replies

Rainbow Dash: ALL RIGHT!

Both Sonic & Rainbow then dash out at light Speed


The Combo Attack was headed Straight at ChaosColt. At the Same Time, ChaosColt Gathered enough Chaos Enegry to Unleash a full Chaos Blast.

Chaoscolt: CHAOS BLAST!

As the Chaos Blast was Halfway to emerging, It was Soon Stopped by Sonic & Dashie's Combo Move, The 2 Attacks Collided in Fierce impact. The Ground Shook with Tremendous Power. Sidewalks were Cracking, Windows from Buildings Were Shattered & the Impact was making a crater on where ChaosColt is Standing. ChaosColt was Shocked to see such power greater than his.


Sonic: Isn't it obvious?


The Attack Broke Through the Chaos Blast Barrier & Hit ChaosColt at the chest. He was Then Sent Crashing into a wall. He was Knocked Out & the Chaos Emerald exited his Body through his Chest & Lost his markings. Tails Took the Chaos Emerald that made this Fellow Ponyfolk into a Power Deranged Monster.

(music fades)

Knuckles: 3 chaos emeralds down! 4 more to go!

Suddenly an explosion is heard from the other side of Fillydephila.

Rainbow Dash: Sounds like Team Sol's in trouble!

Tails: What should we do?

Sonic: You guys head to the Station & Wait for us there!

Rainbow Dash: Me & Sonic will help Team Sol out!

Applejack: Now Hold on there, Sugarcube. Don't Think you're gonna go out their & get yourselves killed.

Rainbow Dash: Don't Worry, We'll be okay!

Sonic: You Focus on keeping that Emerald Safe!

Despite that Fact they don't like where this is going. Knuckles, AJ & Tails Head back to the Station. Sonic & RD made their way to Team Sol's Location.

(Music: Crisis-Dragonball Z Ultimate Tenkachi)

With Team Sol Vs. The Egg Stallion.

On Team Sol's Side, The Egg Stallion was becoming a Challenge for them. Twilight Tried to damage it with her magic. Sliver manage to cut the robot Physic Cut, Marine's Power Gloves & Blaze's Fire power was able to leave a burnt mark on the Egg Stallion. But with every attack They hit. The Egg Stallion Hits them with a Powerful Attack. While the 4 of them were fighting the Egg Stallion. Doctor Whooves & Ditzy Doo hid behind a corner.

Ditzy: Doctor We Gotta Do Something!

Doctor: But Ditzy, We don't Stand a Chance Against the Egg Stallion. Sliver & the others are. But we don't!

Derpy: But I can try!

Derpy then flies to help her friends out.

Doctor: Ditzy, WAIT! Damn it, that Stupid Pegasus will get herself killed if she fights this thing. I better help her out. I don't know how. But I'll think of Something! I'm The Doctor After all!

So the doctor followed Ditzy To Assist her in defeating the Egg Stallion.

Eggman: What this? More Pests to play with? OHOHOHOHO! This gets more Fun & Interesting by the second!

As Eggman Said those Words, The Egg Stallion Kept Stomping on the ground. Hopefully crushing Team Sol. With Every Stomp, Everyone in Team Sol avoided the Attack. Ditzy Went on a Storm cloud & Started to jump it. The Doctor was quite confused on the crossed-eyed Pegasus' activity.

Doctor Whooves: Ditzy! What are you doing?!

Marine: Uhh, mate. This isn't the time to play around

Twilight: We have other Issues to deal with here!

Ditzy: Don't worry, I know what I'm doing!

Eggman then Notices Ditzy jumping on that cloud & Started to laugh.

Eggman: What is this? Some kind of Comedy skit you're doing, Girly?

The Cloud then started to shoot lightning bolts as Ditzy Jumped on some more. One of the
lightning Bolts Hit the Egg Stallion & Shocked it Circuit along with Eggman inside.

Eggman: whu-whu-whu-whu-what's happening?

The Doctor then bucked the Egg Stallion on the Hoof causing it to tumble.

Doctor: Guys, NOW!

As Twilight & Blaze Prepares their Combo Move, Sliver & Marine joined in making a bigger combo Move.

Sliver, Marine, Blaze & Twilight: PHYSIC RAGING DRAGON SHOT!

The Combo Attack was in the Form of a Blast Coated in Fire Power, Physic Power, & Magic
with Marine's Power Shot in front of it. The Super Powerful Combo Move hit the Egg Stallion & caused an Explosion, sending the Mad Doctor Flying. Victory was Team Sol's.


(Music ends)

Doctor Whooves: Whew, Glad that's over.

Marine: That was quite a Challenge, Don't ya think, Mate?

Sliver: Yeah, We could have been killed if it wasn't for Ditzy jumping on that Strom

Blaze: Yeah, We really owe you one, Ditzy. Thanks For saving us.

Ditzy: Not a Problem, Guys.

As she keeps jumping on the cloud, Ditzy Got Electrocuted by the 7th jump.

Doctor Whooves: God, What are gonna do with you.

Ditzy: Sorry, I just don't know what went wrong.

Soon, Sonic & Dashie came to Team Sol's Aid, Only to find out that Team Sol has defeated
their Obstacle.

Sonic Whistes as he said.

Sonic: You guys must have some kind of party here.

Blaze: Well we had an Encounter with Dr. Eggman,

Rainbow Dash: That Egg-head again?

Marine: Yep, Seems The Fella Tried to take this Sol Emerald over There.

Twilight: & Tried to kill us with one of his Inventions. Luckily, Ditzy here was able to
save us by jumping on that Strom Cloud to electrocute his Machine,

Sliver: The Doctor Bucking it to gives us Time to do a super Combo move.

Marine: Yeah! You should Have seen it! It was Awesome! I even Helped out!

Blaze: Marine was a Big help to us in our battle too.

Sliver: Yeah, But with That Aside, We Got a Sol Emerald!

As Twilight Picked up the Sol Emerald (with her Magic) & put it in her pouch.

Marine: 3 down! 4 to go!

Sonic: Exactly what we Said when we found that Chaos Emerald.

Doctor Whooves: we should get back, It's Getting late.

Rainbow Dash: & Eggman Might come back here, Let's head back to the Station & Get out of

Sonic, Rainbow Dash & the Rest of Team Sol Head Back to The Station to meet up with the Rest of Team Chaos & Head back to Ponyville.

Inside the Train Heading to Ponyville

As Team Chaos & Team Sol where in the Train. They discussed about the obstacles They Faced.

Blaze: Whoa, a Colt who used the Negative Power of the Chaos Emerald that Almost Destroyed you guys?

Sonic: Yeah,

Applejack: And that Egg Head made an Robot Stallion?

Marine: You Bet, Mate it was huge.

Twilight: Who knows what kind of Invention he'll make next? We gotta Be careful from here on out.

Everyone Nodded in Agreement as the Train Heads to Ponyville Station.

Twilight's House

Meanwhile At Twilight's House. Team Guardians (Spike, Rouge, Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie, Cream & Amy ) Are Guarding the Collected Emeralds They Then See Team Chaos & Team Sol Returning from Their Journey

Pinkie Pie: You guys are back!

Spike: How was it?

Sonic: Challenging.

Applejack: But we manage to get Both The Chaos Emerald & Sol Emerald in one piece.

Rouge: Aren't Chaos Emeralds & Sol Emeralds indestructible?

The Mane 6, Ditzy, Dr. Whooves & Spike: Huh?

Rouge: It's true, from My Friend. The Chaos Emeralds are Indestructible to anything. They're invincible. Speaking of that friend, I hope he's okay.


Meanwhile on the Tallest Buildings on Manehatthan. A Black Hedgehog with Red Streaks Holding a Yellow Chaos Emerald & A Griffin were looking down on the city.

?: So This Chaos Emerald. It's got pretty intense power correct?

?: That's right, It holds power right before your eyes!

?: I see, So When Will we see this Sonic Charcter?

?: When the time comes, The Same goes for this Rainbow Dash fellow you've told me about since I came here.

?: Well, it looks like we have something in common. Don't we, Shadow The Hedgehog?

Shadow: Of Course Gilda, Soon as Those 2 Blue Idiots come to this city.

Shadow & Gilda: We're gonna settle the score with them, ONCE & FOR ALL!

Eggman's Fleet

(Music: Theme of DR. EGGMAN-Sonic Adventure (SADX))

At the Egg Fleet, Eggman returns from yet another Defeat.

Eggman: Blastes! Those Punks are getting sharper by the second! If only I csn get just one step ahead of them. Then I'll….I'll…I'LL-

Orbot: Boss?

Eggman: WHAT?!

Cubot: Look at one of the Egg Pawns Snatched up!

Cubot Shows Eggman 4 emeralds. 2 Chaos, 2 Sol

Eggman: What the? Where did you find these?

Orbot: well, During your visit to Fillydephila. 2 of your Egg Pawns went to certain Parts
of Equestria & Got there hands on 2 Chaos Emeralds & Another one of your E-Robos gotten
there hands on 2 Sol Emeralds.

Eggman: OHOHOHOHOH, This Is Perfect! Now All we Have to do is to go to Find the Next 2
Emeralds! Where are they by the way?

EF-DC1998: The Next Chaos Emerald is located at Another City Known as Manehatthan.

Eggman: Manehatthan huh? A Perfect place for my New Eggmanland Casino World when I take
over both dimensions! What About the Sol Emerald?

EFMD-1991: Trottingham.

Eggman: Well, Due to the situation right now. I'll Make a Robot assigned to get that Sol Emerald while I get that Chaos Emerald myself!

Orbot: Wait, You're not building any self-mechanism for yourself in case Sonic, Rainbow Dash & the others get in the way?

Eggman: Don't worry, it's right here!

The Mad Doctor shows his Assassiants a Robot that looks like a Giant Spider.

Eggman: behold! THE EGG WIDOW! With this, I'll grab that emerald as Rainbow Dash Would
say "In 10 seconds flat!"

Sweet Apple Acres

On the Way to Sweet Apple Acres. Knuckles & Applejack Were on their way back to Sweet Apple Acres After a Hard Days work. There they discussed about their Personal lives.

Applejack: I see, So you're the last one of their Kind?

Knuckles: yeah, It sucks. I even met these other 2 Echidnas. I haven't seen them in a
while. & Your Parents, You Never met your Father huh?

Applejack: Yeah, I was so young then. If only i-

Knuckles then gives AJ A hug.

Knuckles: It's okay, From here on out. We Look out for each other, No Matter what!

Applejack: Thank You, knuckles. No mare has ever done this to me before.

Knuckles: well consider me your first.

As Knuckles Said & AJ head back to Sweet Apple Acres With Knuckles with his arm
around her Shoulder.

Rainbow Dash's House

On The Way back to Cloudsdale, Sonic & Rainbow Dash went back to Dashie's place after completing their Journey.

Sonic: Whew, That Was Tiring.

Rainbow Dash: You said it.

Sonic: I'm gonna head to the Kitchen to get something to Drink, I'm Hungry.

Rainbow Dash: Sure thing! I'll head back to my room okay?

Sonic: All right

Sonic was going through Dashie's Fridge to see what see had. Soon, He heard a guitar playing coming from Dashie's Room. He check to see where the Guitar playing came from. It came from Dahie's Room. Sonic Open the Door and Saw Dashie Playing on a Light Blue Guitar with a Rainbow Streak on the bottom left side.

Sonic: Wow, You play the Guitar. Too?

Rainbow Dash: Yeah, Why Do you ask?

Sonic: Funny, Back in my Home Dimension. I had a Blue Guitar and I use to play it on my
free time. You Know when I'm not busy. How Long you had that Guitar?

Rainbow Dash: Since I got it at that concert in Manehatthan. It was pretty fun there, Wlid
though. I've been Practicing with this guitar since.

Sonic: Nice, Mind if I give it a Spin?

Rainbow Dash: Sure.

Sonic Then Takes Dashie's Guitar & Starts To Play It doesn't Matter (SA1 Version). Dashie
was Amazed of This.

Rainbow Dash: wow, you are good.

Sonic: Thanks. I haven't Heard this Song since my Previous Adventure (Refering to his
Adventure in Sonic Adventure)

Sonic: Well, It's Getting late. I'm Gonna Head to-

RD Then Took Sonic's Hand before he could leave.

Rainbow Dash: Say Sonic, How About you Sleep in my Room Tonight, Instead of the Living Room. I have an Extra Sleep Bag if you want.

Sonic: Of Course, I was getting uncomfortable in there anyway.

Sonic placed The Sleeping Bag next to Dashie's Bag & Prepared to head to sleep.

Sonic: Night, Dashie! We Got another Emerald Hunt Tommorow.

Rainbow Dash: Yeah, Good Night!

Sonic fell asleep on Dashie's Sleeping Bag. Before Rainbow could Sleep, All She Could think about was Mostly Sonic.

Rainbow Dash: These Feelings I have, They're the same ones I had when dating Soarin. Could Sonic Be-No,No,No. Pull yourself Together, Dashie! There's No way I Pegasus like me & A Hedgehog like him could be together. There's no way. I bet he feels the same way too.

Afterwards, Rainbow Dash Fell Asleep.

Twilight's House

In Twilight's House, Blaze, Twilight, Spike let Marine Stay with them for a while.

Marine: Say Fancy Dome you got there mate, This is Nothing Compared to my Island Back home!

Spike: Island?

Blaze: Marine is the leader of A Team known as The Coconut Crew. They helped Me, Sonic & Tails when one of Eggman's Schemes threaten to take over my dimension.

Spike: Man, what a tool.

Twilight: Anyways, we should get some rest. We have more Emeralds to collect tomorrow.

With That Said, The 4 hereos Rest at Twilight's Library for the night

Meanwhile at Ponyville

Fluttershy: Are you sure you want to stay with your Mom & Ms. Cheerlie, Cream?

Vanilla: You can stay with Fluttershy if you want.

Cream: It's okay, After being Separated from her. I think I should at least Stay with them
for a while. I did made my mom worry since we landed in Equestria.

Vanilla: It's true, You did made me me Worry.

Cream: So Fluttershy, I Think you should stay with Tails for the time being.

Fluttershy: *blushes* Stay with Tails?

Tails: Are you okay, Fluttershy?

Fluttershy: Yeah, I'm okay…

Tails: Rrright, Anyway we'll see you guys, tomorrow morning.

Fluttershy: we have to find the next emerald.

Cream: That's ture

Ms. Cheerlie: Be Careful on your way home, you two.

Tails & Fluttershy: we will.

Tails & Fluttershy head back to Fluttershy's Cottage. On the way there, All Fluttershy did
was think about Tails.

Fluttershy: Wow, He's So cute. & he's very Smart..…I just wanna hug him so-

Tails & Flutters Appeared in front of her Cottage.

Tails: We're here!

Fluttershy: Oh right.

Tails then opens the door for her.

Fluttershy's Cottage

Fluttershy: wow, thanks you, Tails. He's such a gentlemen too.Oh, and Tails Since Cream won't be staying with us. You can stay in my room if you want. I Mean if it's okay with you.

Tails: It's okay, I don't mind sleeping in your room. Tonight.

Fluttershy: Really? Why Thank you Tails. Wow, This guy he's amazing

Fluttershy & Tails Went inside her room. Where Tails Slept inside her Sleeping Bag & Fluttershy in her bed


Meanwhile inside the Tardis, Sliver & Dr. Whooves Were looking at the Status of the other Dimensions.

Silver What's the Status of the Dimensions?

Doctor Whooves: Not Good, From the Looks of it. It seems they're merging & Equestria could be Next!

Silver: We got to find all the emeralds & Fixed this. Or we're in Big Trouble.

Dr. Whooves: I feel the same way, Silver. I feel the same way.

Canterlot Castle

Meanwhile at the Castle, Princesses Celestia & Luna were looking outside the castle. Hoping on our Heroes quest will go suceessfully.

Princess Luna: Sister.

Princess Celestia: what is it, Luna?

Princess Luna: What will happen after all the emralds are collected.

Princess Celestia: Hopefully, the Dimensions will be back in order & fixed.

Princess Luna: & if not?

Princess Celestia: Then All hope will be lost. Don't Worry, my Sister. Sonic & Rainbow
Dash will be the heroes that'll save us from this Crisis. All we can say now is Godspeed
for our heroes. Godspeed.

To Be Continued

WHEW, Took me a while
Here it is
Chapter Jyu-ichi/十一(11) of S&RD Adventure

Now with a New Updated Logo!
Also this Marks S&RD Adventure's 2nd Break!


which Means i'll start on Vector & Vinyl Scratch & Afro's Crossover Adventures & Ask Afro The Hedgehog :icon0u0plz:

Afro & the Crossover Crew::iconfuuuplz:

Our Heroes Finally got another Chaos Emerald & Sol Emerald. But Eggman's one Step Closer as He to got 2 emeralds. Someponies are in love :iconicameplz:, The Dimension Crisis is getting worse And The Return of 2 rivals will Settle the Score with the Two Ture Blue Blur Two Ture Blue Blurs. The Fight for the the Last 2 Emeralds Begins. This will be Most Epic 2 part Event of S&RD Adventure!

Next Chapter:
Rival Confrontation! Part 1: The Ture Blue Blurs Vs. The Bad Reputators

Sonic The Hedgehog & Characters (C) SEGA :iconsegalogoplz: & Sonic Team :iconsonicteam-plz:
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (C) Lauren Faust :iconfyre-flye:,Hasbro Studios :iconhasbroplz: & The Hub
Rated T For Violence, Blood & Language
Ch. 10: [link]
Ch. 12: [link]
Prologue: [link]
Add a Comment:
rdfiore Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You are right
SonictheHedgehogCD Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2013
Ive read every chapter so far and i have a verdict that you probably wont appreciate...

But if i gave my honest opinion, and with all due respect, i think this story kinda sucks. When i first started reading it, i thought it might turn out very interesting. I was waiting to see how much depth you might go into about how they got into Equestria, as far why the element of loyalty got to Sonics World, and why the Chaos emeralds went to Equestria. But you went into minimal detail, about why they got to where they did, and what the importance of what it was... Unless you were implying that Sonic is as loyal as Rainbowdash, that concept would have been GOLD. It would have been very interesting, but holes would still have been left about why the Chaos Emerald made it way to Rainbowdash, unless you were implying that Rainbowdash is an Embodiment of Chaos like Sonic, but that would seem so... Impractical, unlikely and stupid. What also would have helped the beginning turn out better is if the characters ( at least Tails or Twilight because of how analytical they are. And if not those two i was SURE Robotnick (or Eggman, which ever name you prefer) ) would have actually put some amount of effort in trying to explain the "Light" that brought them there. Which brings me to my next point, why was Blaze taken from Mobius? She stays in an alternate dimension. But im not gonna pick on you too much about that because im just going to assume that you went on the fact that she was able to go to Sonics world in Sonic Generations, and she just happened to be visiting at the time... Silver being in the Future would have led me to criticize his existence at all in this story, that he shouldnt have been brought to Equestria by the same Light all the others did. But like Blaze, im Just going to assume that when he was brought back to Mobius with all the others after Sonic and his Classic self beath the Time Eater, he didint go back to his Original Timeline Like Classic Sonic and Classic Tails did, because he decided he liked Mobius more and wanted to stay. All together it seems like it was just a sorry Excuse to somehow get Sonic characters into the world of My Little Pony, let them wonder how they got there for a few chapters, and just dismiss it when finally got bored of thinking about.

Now for the Story...

The story seems okay, i guess. Robotnick being the main Bad Guy in this story is something i saw coming a mile away, but is fitting for anything with Sonic and his friends in it. I dont have alot to say about the Story because it looks just getting to the engaging part. Sonic and his friends plus Twilight and the girls have split up into groups and are looking for the Chaos and Sol Emeralds because the worlds of My Little Pony, Sonics world Mobius, and Blazes world are about to merge together, and for some reason thats bad?... Whatever, Ill just wait and see why. Im just glad to hear there is actually substance behind this story, that it isn't just a story about the two racing

Lets Talk about the characters...

I foresaw this coming as well. I can see what youre doing with the characters, pairing most of them up with each other based on interest, physical similarities or personality. Some are harder to tell than other though, an example would be Tails. At the beginning, you seemed to be pairing up Tails and Twilight, and i naturally just assumed you did so because they were both smart. But later you compared Tails to Fluttershy by being bullied in the past. But earlier you also compared Cream to Fluttershy concerning their polite nature and love for little animals/Chao. And around this time it seems like she is leaning toward Tails because shes interested in them. Its seems like theres someone for everyone that they can relate to, and share common interest. Its pretty generic and obvious you were going to do this, but i dont see a problem with it... Most of the time, until i start visualizing what your doing between these "paired" characters.

Lets go into depth on your "Paring" of these characters...

You have made it loud and clear at this point that you seem to be paring characters in a shipping fashion too. I never want to see Sonic end up in a relationship with Rainbowdash, not because i think hes too good for her or anything... Okay, thats EXACTLY what it is, but i also think Sonic is too good for ANY relationship. I dont mean that hes actually "too good" for relationships, he just shouldnt be in one at all. But i dont mind him getting into a relationship in this story so long as it progresses in a pace that Sonic would seem like he would do. And it is actually moving at a surprisingly good pace. I think its safe to say that at this point, even Sonic and Rainbowdash know that the only thing separating them from being the same exact person is the fact that one is is a Hedgehog, and one Pegasus. But even though im 110% ( and yes, i actually meant 110% ) sure that if they felt like they wanted to officially start dating, they would in a heart beat. But they aren't, because Even Rainbowdash is still questioning wether or not she really likes Sonic right now, she keeps basically telling herself "lets wait and see, maybe this is just a phantom feeling that i have right now" or even telling herself "No way, hes a Hedgehog and im a Pegasus it would never work". Its just great to see that she and the writer of this story are not trying to rush it and ship them as fast as possible. Though i think the pace might be just a tad fast for Sonic, this is the ONLY shipping of the two ive ever read that i feel was ever really done right. But what shocked me at first though is that Sonic broke up with Amy 4 months before they went into Equestria. You know how i feel about Sonic and relationships, but what i feel the writer was doing by making Amy dump Sonic ( which is even scarier ) is make it clear to the audience that Sonic and Amy as a couple were COMPLETEY out of the picture. And by doing this, it felt like he was trying to push Sonic and Rainbowdash even closer. I would have criticized him for this as well, but later in the story Amy realizes leaving Sonic was a mistake and wants to try to take him back before Rainbowdash gets him. This was a HUGE relief to hear, because it shows that the writer is NOT pushing Sonic and Rainbowdash for a relationship, and is trying to actually lessen the likelihood of the two being together. And for simply pushing them to be together as fast as possible, that makes this shipping tolerable for me. Not much to say about Tails and Knuckles, other than its a little vague to tell right now, I personally dont like Sonic character and Pony shipping, but if the writer can make them ship well, maybe i can tolerate them too.

And last lets talk about the Character Dialog, Story Progression, and Action Scenes...

The Dialog is nothing Special, and at times i can find it to be a real chore or down right boring to read. There are a few exceptions to this, being a few characters whose dialog i really look forward to reading but most of it is bland and uninteresting and dosent sound like something you would hear coming from any of the characters in Any games of cartoons that theyve been in, basically it dosent sound like "them" as much as it possibly could. And im not just talking about how they occasionally use cuss words ( though even that can sound a bit artificial most of the time.) Sonic dosent sound as "cocky" as you might hear in the games, or sarcastic. Though Tails has never really been known for anything other that analytical dialog, he historically has sounded very insecure without Sonic present and the writer could have at least tried to capture that. Amy could sound more ambitious and outgoing, Cream is captured just right, Knuckles could sound more, well... I cant put it into a single word, but... "If you shove me, Ill shove back", but not taken to such an extreme like in Sonic X where he sounds like he always wants to kill someone. Rouge? Rouge is Excellent, shes captured almost exactly like herself you would hear in the games or even Sonic X which is fine too. Twilight sounds a little emotionless, Pinkie Doesn't have the random "Pinkie Pie" dialog she possibly could, but its adequate Fluttershy could be ALOT better, she could be a LOT more Timid and well... Shy, Rainbowdash? Same as Sonic, lack of cockiness and sarcasm, but she is okay, Applejack is okay, Rarity is okay. Everyone is just "Okay". Robotnicks dialog, oh man he AWESOME! He is THE BEST in my opinion. He makes threats that sound like something that got pulled straight from the games! His signature "Hohohohoho!" Laugh is used appropriately, and never seems like its just being used for the hell of it. He throws his temper tantrums at the appropriate times, his sarcasm is captured beautifully. What can i say? Everything about him was done RIGHT. And Cubot... Though i haven't gotten enough dialog from him as i possibly could want. Those bipolar changes in his voice chip sound like something that would naturally come from him, but i think im pretty sure i might have heard that "Chillax" voice of his from somewhere. Either way, i LOVE the sudden appearance of that "Blond" voice, that was hilarious, "OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG" that actually got a loud chuckle from me. And last Orbot, i dont have a lot to say, he just dosent stand out much. The final opinion of mine on the dialog, it just so plot oriented, and it would be nice to hear them talk about things other than their life stories, racing, and the underlining plot.

The story progression is done in a book fashion. When stage directions become to plentiful to to put into these " ** ". The story progression is set by dialog most of the time, the characters explain what they are going to do, and then a detailed explanation is written when the actions or stage directions are too long. This is an element i do in my stories as well, and see many others do, and i could consider it a professional standard of story progression in a story mostly comprised of dialog. In addition to story progression, why the hell is there so much blushing in this story? I see it like once or twice every chapter, would it kill the writer to let up on that a bit?
(The following scenes are paraphrased)
Sonic: Sonic and Dashie, do you like your nickname?
Rainbowdash: *Blush*

Pinkie Pie: so what is Sonic your boyfriend or something?
Amy: *Blush*

Sonic: Hey Rainbowdash nice Quick step! *Signature Grin and thumbs up*
RD: *Blush*

*Blush* *Blush* *Blush* *Blush!* *Blush!* *Blush!* *BLUSH!!!* *BLUSH!!!* *BLUSH!!!* ... I think you get my point.

And last, the action scenes are fine, but a large majority are highly over the top. How the hell can spike torch robots and rip em to shreds, when he could barely win a flaming Burp contest with a bunch of teenage dragons? And i find his ability to use his claws as a good weapon, at least at his current age. Which bring me another question, how the hell can All the pipsqueaks fight in this story? Where did they suddenly get this badass training from? And more importantly, what is with the over abundance of these combo moves? One or two each battle would be okay but its just combo moves, combo moves every where. And my only complaint about the way anyone fights in here is Tails. Even the pipsqueaks have cooler methods of defense in here, more physical ones too. I can understand Tails is a genius and all, and i dont mind him using technology as a weapon at times, but he cant put that damn arm cannon down for ONE SECOND without being considered completely useless. What about some of his cooler old school attacking methods? Like swinging his tails at an enemy to rip them to shreds like in Sonic Adventure? Or ascending upward from bellow an enemy while his propeller tails are spinning to tear them apart that way? Or even the most basic attack he knows, the Spin Attack!
And while were on moves from Sonics history, why is Rainbowdash able to use the Light Speed Attack (Ancient Light) from Sonic Adventure (2)? That is a move that should be exclusive for SONIC ONLY, considering its a "Power-up". Does Rainbowdash have one just like it? Where'd she get it? The local market from Ponyville?

My final Verdict...

It could have been turned into a very good story, but it suffers from a lack of important or just plain entertaining information. How did they get to Equestria? Why was the element of Loyalty displaced from Equestria? Why was the Chaos Emerald displaced from Mobius? What was the explanation of that light that brought them there?

These questions may be answered later, but so much time has already passed, and i just wassant sure if you forgot or werent planning to answer them. It allready seems like were getting to almost a huge climactic part in the story and we still have yet to figure this stuff out.

... Im Really looking forward to the next Chapter...
CreativeArtist-Kenta Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2013  Student General Artist
no worries after chapter 14 i'll use a new story format
PersonaDC Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2012  Hobbyist
So when are you gonna do the next chapter, I been wated for weeks to see what happen next.
CreativeArtist-Kenta Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2012  Student General Artist
It's in the process
Due to the fact I had school crap to do
So expect it soon this weekend
PersonaDC Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2012  Hobbyist
Ok thanks and sorry about that.
CreativeArtist-Kenta Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2012  Student General Artist
no problem
Tacoman450 Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2012
I hope the music you use for Shadow and Gilda VS. Sonic and Rainbow Dash is "For True Story" from Sonic Adventure 2: Battle
CreativeArtist-Kenta Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2012  Student General Artist
hmm In fact i was Just Thinking that
Thanks :D
WuB-Retro Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2012
if u can do it u could do it as a sprite series
CreativeArtist-Kenta Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2012  Student General Artist
If I could
Unfourtnately I suck at spriting so yeah
PersonaDC Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2012  Hobbyist
You doing a good so far you know you should add Big the cat, Babylon Rogues, or maybe Omega well I just hope we see them soon intill then keep up th good work.
CreativeArtist-Kenta Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2012  Student General Artist
don't worry
you'll see them soon
PersonaDC Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2012  Hobbyist
OK thanks.
FiretrontheHedgehog Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
And I presume Sparx, Firetron, and Afro will be in the finale? (Sparx looks like Fleetway Shadow, but the primary color is a shadow gold color (and his eyes, too) while his secondary color is a silver color (red for Shadow/Fleetway Shadow will be the silver for Sparx))
CreativeArtist-Kenta Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Student General Artist
They'll be in the upcoming Special
FiretrontheHedgehog Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
When will the "special" be? (I have A.D.D.'s, so I'll forget easily every now and then)
CreativeArtist-Kenta Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Student General Artist
it'll be somewhere Januray 2013
FiretrontheHedgehog Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
CreativeArtist-Kenta Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Student General Artist
It takes alot of Planning
& I have a School Life too
FiretrontheHedgehog Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I can help you for the planning!
CreativeArtist-Kenta Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Student General Artist
okay then
i'll note you what i got so far
(1 Reply)
FerrumFlos1st Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2012
Shadow is still upset at Sonic over the option of beating him up more than 20 times in Sonic Generations.
CreativeArtist-Kenta Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2012  Student General Artist
Sonaze-Knight Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2012
getting better keep going
CreativeArtist-Kenta Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2012  Student General Artist
thanks man
Sonaze-Knight Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2012
your welcome:)
sonicandmario826 Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2012
geeze shadow what did sonic do to you i mean i know shadow can find sonic annoying but i dont think he wouls want to beat him up when this stuff is happening
CreativeArtist-Kenta Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2012  Student General Artist
i think Shadow still has a grude on Sonic from the last time they met
(ref to Generations)
BlueSuperSonic07 Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2012
Getting better. Good job.
CreativeArtist-Kenta Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2012  Student General Artist
thanks dude
TJ0001 Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
OMG U USED IT! very good chapter btw.
CreativeArtist-Kenta Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Student General Artist
thx dude :D
Lunatheninjafox Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
CreativeArtist-Kenta Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Student General Artist
thank you :3
Lunatheninjafox Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Np. ^^ I cant wait for more!!!
Add a Comment:

:iconcreativeartist-kenta: More from CreativeArtist-Kenta

Featured in Collections

Other by tmk0009

pokemon, sonic, mario, shugo chara, ROTG DTB by pokemonnarutoi65

Stories by dovyzz

More from DeviantArt


Submitted on
August 29, 2012
File Size
21.6 KB


22 (who?)